that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
