What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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