Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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