I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
