Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
