Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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