careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
