Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
