just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
