Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
