there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
