think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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