I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
