i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize