I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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