Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It's just like the Real World with babies
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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