At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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