that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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