So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Randomize
