the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am naked and annoyed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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