I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
