It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
