Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
