never play flip cup with pint glasses
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
