you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Your penis caused this!
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