Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
