She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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