You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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