I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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