I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
