It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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