He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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