were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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