I seem to have left my pride at pride
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
