How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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