"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
