dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
