Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
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I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
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He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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