Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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