Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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