yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Randomize
