You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
