come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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