she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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