I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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