okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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