ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The Olympian is in my bed
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