new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
