Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
