hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
