Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize