We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
