these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
