This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
