Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
