Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
