Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
