Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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