guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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